The Bankers’ Breakfast

A.A. Milne wrote a lovely poem called The King's Breakfast which we were read as children. I decided to learn it off by heart a few months ago. It was only then that I realised that maybe it wasn't about butter on the King's bread. Yes the original is a lot better but it amused me to mess about for a bit. And, in my defence, whilst the scanning/rhythm seems odd, it does seem quite odd in the original too!(read it on the link above)

The Bankers’ Breakfast(--thanks to A. A. Milne…)

The Bankers asked
The Markets, and
The Markets asked
The Government:
"Could we have a billion for
Our yachts down on the Med’?"
The Government
Said, "Certainly. Well…
We'll go and ask the milch cow
Now
While we’ve still got some cred’."

The Government
It cursed a bit,
But went to tell the hoi polloi:
" ’Fraid you can forget that Wealth
You felt,
The banks are in the red."

The hoi polloi said stroppily:
"You'd better tell
The Markets
We want to keep the
‘Feel good’ that
They sold us.
-So they can go
Boil
Their
Heads."

The Government
Said "Oh, our poor
Financiers!"
And went to
The Markets,
It shifted in its seat,
And wondered what it dared:
"Excuse us,
For mentioning,
For taking of
The liberty,
But maybe these billions
Could be
Better used.
You know,
More
Fairly
Shared."

The Markets said
"Oh!"
And went to the Bankers:
"Talking of the billions (and
Bankers’ bonuses)
Many people seem to
Think that
It would be
Nicer
If the money was
Spread
Through charities (and schools and health care and social services and pensioners)
Instead."

The Bankers said
"Oh bugger!"
And then they said,
" We’ll have to see!"
The Bankers smirked, "Yes,
We’ll have to see…
We really are in the red.”
"Nobody,"
They simpered,
"Would call us
Greedy men;
We only want
A Hundred
Billion
And (spread throughout the population)
That’s only
A couple
Of ‘k’
Per head!"

The Markets said,
"Here, here!"
And went back to
The Government.
The Government
Said, "Oh dear!"
And sat and scratched its head.
The people said,
"This was our fear!
We really
Didn't
Dream it;
Bang go OUR future pensions,
We really are being bled."

So the Markets took the billions
And brought them to
The Bankers.
The Bankers said
"Oh, thanks,
A Hundred Billion, eh?"
And bought a chocolate factory,
(Also in the red).
"Nobody," they whispered,
“Will notice that it’s their
Money we’re spending.
"Nobody," they said,
As they slipped into
Their Bentleys,
"Oh Nobody,
My darlings,
Could call us
Greedy men-
BUT
We do need to keep
Our families
Properly fed!"
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